Tim and I have talked about taking a gap year to travel since our first International trip together in 2016. After our joint employer was acquired and we got laid off we decided to take our severance and spend it in Bali and Thailand for a month and a half. We learned some important lessons on that trip. First, I tend to melt down in extremely high temperatures (I have since learned to cope, although my body has not). Second, we can travel well together without wanting to kill each other. And, most importantly, that we both have an immense passion for experiencing more of the world. While we had been discussing and planning this trip for many years, it never seemed like the “right” time. There was always some excuse - that next promotion, the new apartment and then of course COVID. At some point in 2021, when we were having discussions about putting down the types of roots that might make this kind of trip much harder (i.e. a house and kids) we decided we had to stop waiting for the right time and just pull the trigger. So that’s what we did - we quit our amazing jobs, sold our car, put our belongings in storage and packed our 45L backpacks to set out. What was supposed to be a 12 month trip became 18 months traveling full time - once you’re out there “on the road” it’s hard to stop. There’s always another place you want to see, another country you want to visit, another item to tick off the bucket list. But all good things must come to an end, and recently our adventure wound down. We visited our final country of the trip (New Zealand) and came home to California at the beginning of December.
Ultimately we visited 31 countries across 6 continents and accumulated enough miles to fly around the globe 3+ times. We rode motorbikes in rural Vietnam, walked with elephants in Laos, dove with sharks all over Asia and Oceana, ate way too much sushi in Japan, rode on camels in the deserts of the Middle East, sipped tea in Morocco, tasted wine in some of the oldest wineries in France, danced the night away in a villa in Italy, lived in a camper van in New Zealand and experienced life in all different crevices of the world. It was, as cliche as it sounds, the adventure of a lifetime.
All of that said, I will admit it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. Traveling full time with your partner out of a backpack while traversing numerous time zones, dialects and travel mishaps definitely takes its toll. And this is all while missing out on everything that’s happening back home and feeling behind in the milestones of life like buying a house, having kids, getting a dog, etc. But what I can say for sure is that the benefits of traveling the world far outweigh the drawbacks. I wouldn’t trade this trip for anything and have absolutely no regrets about fulfilling this dream. This experience has shaped me into a different person than who I was when I left and has completely revolutionized the way that I approach travel.
In summary, here are some of the lessons I’ve learned and how I will change the way I travel:
Countries aren’t for “doing”: Have you ever caught yourself asking someone if they’ve “done” a country? “Have you done Indonesia yet?” “Have you done Portugal?” I used to say things like that all the time. And it’s a phrase I really came to evaluate on this trip. It made me ask myself what does it mean to “do” a country? Thinking of travel this way made me feel like I needed to see a place just to tick it off a list. And the pressure to “do” all the same countries as everyone else on Instagram or in my social circle was immense. But what I realized is that this mindset led to surface level experiences in the country that I was visiting. With the blessing of time to really just be in a place I switched my mindset to make sure I was open to experiencing the country I was visiting, not just to ticking it off a list. And by the way, what I found was that the most talked about places on Instagram were actually some of my least favorite to visit!
Just by being in a country you are experiencing it: Have you ever sat in a cafe in Paris and been frustrated by the horrendous service because you want to get on with your day to really experience the city? Well that right there - spending an hour sipping coffee at a cafe in Paris - is experiencing Paris. That is exactly what Parisians do! As dumb as it might sound, it took me a while to learn that just by showing up and being in a place I was experiencing it. There was no need to see all the sights and do all the things that bloggers write about because just by stepping foot in that country or city I was seeing it! When we took that pressure off of ourselves we found that we could really enjoy our time and take in the culture so much more. One recommendation I have is right when you get to a new place, drop your bags off and with no destination in mind, just start walking. If you feel comfortable, don’t even look at Google Maps. You’ll have it later to get home. But just walk and experience what life is like in that new place. Maybe pop into a bar or restaurant, stop to browse, etc. But just walk until the day gets interesting.
You don’t need to see the “top things” in a country to enjoy it: Just to hammer this point home - trust me as someone who spent 18 months as a full time tourist, you can give yourself permission to miss the big things that don’t seem appealing to you. If you don’t care to see the Uffizi Gallery in Florence, don’t. Your experience isn’t any less “Italian” than someone who has seen it. You just had more time to eat. Or do whatever else you really wanted to do!
The best recommendations are from locals: If all of your travel advice is coming from Google you’re likely getting funneled into the same restaurants and sites that every other American is getting funneled into which will make your experience in that country much less authentic. It’s not fun to be in a foreign country and hear everyone around you speaking English and talking about where they live in San Francisco. Instead wait until you get there and ask locals for their recommendations. For example, ask your cab driver for their favorite restaurant. And a great way to ask it is “Where do you like to eat for dinner?” “What do you like to do in XYZ city on your day off”? Or go to a bar and ask the bartender where they like to go for a drink when they’re not working. Make sure you’re clear you don’t want the “top” recommendations, you just want to hear where they like to go. Locals are a wealth of knowledge and most people love to give advice on how to enjoy their city or country!
Leave room for the unknown in your itinerary. The best travel experiences are the ones that happen serendipitously: Before this trip I was the type of person who scheduled each day of a vacation down to the minute and mapped it all out on a Google Sheet. Type A to the max. This style of travel became virtually impossible on this long of a trip, which was a blessing and a learning experience for me. We still had things scheduled - we knew where we would be going for about a month out and I would book some dinner reservations in certain places. But otherwise we were pretty flexible. And this flexibility led to great experiences. For example, in Vietnam we kept hearing people we met talk about the Ha Giang loop, a motorbike loop in Northern Vietnam. It wasn’t something we had planned for or had room for in the schedule, but at the last minute we decided to change our plans and fit it in. And it was one of the best experiences of the trip. Another place where this really stands out for me is Japan. I felt so much pressure to have dinner reservations at incredible restaurants in this foodie haven. And I had very high expectations for these reservations that I put a lot of time and effort into getting. And while the meals were always delicious, they only met expectations because mine were already high. But my favorite meals in Japan are the ones that we just happened upon when we were hungry. Because I wasn’t expecting anything I was open to being surprised and delighted. On one of these occasions, Tim and I walked into a restaurant in Hiroshima that smelled good. We didn’t exactly get a warm welcome, the owners met us at the door and cautioned us “this isn’t an okonomiyaki restaurant” in halted English. We said that was fine and we were led in and sat at a small table. We found there were only a few other patrons at the restaurant all sitting at the bar and chatting while watching the news in Japanese. The menu was very small and only in Japanese so, using Google translate, we asked for two of their specials. This turned out to be the most insanely delicious beef tendon soup that melted in our mouths with some pickled vegetables. It was truly one of the best meals we had in Japan. What made it even more special were the owners that, after they understood we weren’t annoying tourists, really warmed to us. They started asking (over Google translate) where we were from, how long we were traveling around Japan and what we thought of Hiroshima. They asked how long we had been together and we reciprocated in questioning, getting to know them a little better. As we went to leave, the owner came back to our table with a gorgeous handmade crane origami. She said her grandma had made it and that it symbolizes good fortune, and they wanted us to have it to grant us luck on the rest of our journey. The gesture made me tear up and this crane is one of my cherished possessions from this trip that will always be a reminder to me of the kindness of strangers. I can’t say I wouldn’t have had this experience in a restaurant that I reserved and looked forward to but I can say that my lack of expectations made this experience so much more special. I’m not saying I won’t continue to research and make reservations for trips that we take in the future. I still absolutely love doing that. But I will make sure to leave room in the schedule for serendipity.
Plan your trip on what you want to do and then pick where to go: This isn’t necessarily something that we did on this trip but the breadth of activities we experienced has made me change my mind on how to plan a trip in the future. I used to just pick the country that I was interested in going to and then decide what to do in that country after. I will now plan trips in the inverse and ask myself “what kind of trip do I want to have?” Do I want to be active and be outdoors? I’d look into epic multi-day hikes around the world and see which countries offer the coolest experience. Do I want to spend most days relaxing at the beach? Maybe the beaches in Mexico or Croatia are where I’ll end up. Do I want to feel completely out of my comfort zone? Then maybe I’ll head to South America and choose to travel more locally like on buses and trains. The point is every country has something to offer and I want to be more intentional about what I want my experience to be before picking where I want to go.
People in the world are a lot more alike than different: The beauty of travel is that you realize you can relate to people all around the world. We encountered people from all different religions, belief systems, upbringings and socioeconomic backgrounds on this trip. We talked with Muslims in the Middle East, Hindus in Bali, poverty-stricken people in Vietnam and everything in between. And what we found in these conversations are a lot more similarities than differences. When it comes down to it we all mostly want the same things - the best for our families, to be in good health, to be a good person, to have a community, to do right by whatever higher power you believe in. And we all have similar challenges - annoying neighbors, tough jobs, challenging kids, etc. Of course we might dress differently, have different customs, politics or expressions of how we practice religion, but we never encountered someone that we couldn’t find some commonality with. And it was really refreshing to know that while we might feel a ton of division in the world, the people at the heart of a country really aren’t that different than we are. I learned that the more we can look to understand and celebrate the things that do make us different the more we can rely on the similarities to bring us closer together.
It’s important to understand the “why” behind a culture before we judge: It’s easy to see differences in the cultures you’re visiting and immediately judge them based on your own beliefs. For example, when we visited the Middle East it was tough for me to see women in hijab, covered head to toe in black in extreme heat. Or in Colombia it was challenging to see so much petty crime like theft that sometimes made it scary to travel around. But in each of these places I had conversations with locals to understand why things are the way they are. In Colombia there is so much poverty especially for refugees from Venezuela who escaped a dictator and are desperate to feed their families. Of course I don’t condone stealing but I can see how someone might feel desperate enough to steal an iPhone if it could feed their family for a month. Even if I didn’t agree with everything that I was told I realized that it wasn’t my place to share my judgements. Ultimately, I am a firm believer that when you travel you should respect the culture that you’re going to. Even if you don’t agree with everything that happens there, it’s not your place to go against their customs when you’re in their home. And if every culture was just the same as ours, travel wouldn’t be worth it anyways!
You are so much more than what you do: One of the first questions I find Americans ask one another is “what do you do?”. Because of this, we put a lot of self worth into our occupation. It was eye opening for me to find that in other cultures, this isn’t even in the first 10 questions someone might ask you about yourself. They care more about you - where are you from, where have you been traveling, what you do in your free time, etc. It was challenging to decouple who I am with what I do at first. But soon it was liberating. Of course your job is important and it’s something that I want to be dedicated to. But taking a step away really helped me realize I am much more than my job. And that’s okay!
Travel helps you grow: If you’re considering a similar type of trip and want to know how it might change you - here are some of the ways it changed me. By switching up our environment every few days, I had to get comfortable with just that - change. Change is never easy but I flexed this muscle throughout this entire trip which grew my resilience to uncertainty and discomfort. Pushing myself outside of my comfort zone time and again helped me eradicate my limiting beliefs about myself. I’ve mentioned before that I hate flying but still pushed myself to get on a flight multiple times a month. I was terrified to scuba dive but after a ton of repetition it has become one of my favorite past times. I hate heights but absolutely loved our ride in a hot air balloon (even if my knees were shaking the whole time). I know now that I can do things that are uncomfortable and that they will most likely be very rewarding. Entering into completely different cultures and interacting with all types of people made me so much more empathetic and open-minded. Your problems really come into perspective when you visit rural parts of Laos where children start working at the age of 6 in fields with machetes to help their families make a living. I used to doubt my decisions but being put into daily situations where I had to make choices (from which countries to visit down to where to eat every day) I became much more decisive and confident in what I choose. I am so grateful for travel for helping me grow!
There is no “right” way to live your life: Everyone feels the social pressure of climbing the ladder the right way - Graduate college, get a good job, get married, buy a house, have kids, etc. And while this path is right for a lot of people, it isn’t right for everyone. In Europe a lot of people take a gap year between college and getting a job. In Asia, most families choose to live together instead of buying and moving into their own home. And while quitting your job to travel is definitely not on the standard path, it was totally worth the deviation. This understanding has really given me the freedom to question exactly what I want next in life and not feel as much pressure to tick the next box.
You never have to stop traveling: Even with all that we saw and experienced on this trip, there is so much more of the world that I want to see. I know that we will continue to travel in our lives and this trip showed me that it’s possible. We met people while on the road that were traveling with babies, toddlers and older children. We met couples in their 70s and above with backpacks on their backs. We met people who had mortgages and jobs back home that just needed a break. Here’s the thing - taking the trip might not seem easy but it’s always worth it. Don’t let what you imagine to be the challenges in your life hold you back. If you want to explore, do it. I promise you won’t regret it.
It’s important to have a purpose in life: While having a ton of free time was amazing, there were times when we felt adrift as to why we were continuing to travel. After a while, it began to feel meaningless without an intention behind it. I recently listened to a podcast that talked about happiness. A study they conducted found that people with more than 2-5 discretionary hours a day were less happy than those who had more structure and purpose built in. This is why I started this blog, to feel like I had a purpose outside of being a full time tourist. I can’t say I was great at keeping it up, but I can say that it helped me feel fulfilled along with the other parts of the journey. And while I am extremely sad that this adventure has come to an end, I’m excited to be back to move into this next chapter of life, whatever that might be!
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